The Stupendous Automatic Movie Logline Generator!

Coming up with new ideas is like trying to push an elephant into a doctor's waiting room - it's not going to be as effective if you try and force it. You've got to let the elephant appear there when the situation demands it. And that terrible analogy is exactly the kind of brilliant result you can expect from this, my latest invention - the Stupendous Automatic Movie Logline Generator! Sometimes you've just got to throw the alphabet at the wall and see what sticks. So grab a pen and paper, or prepare to memorise if you're that badass, and marvel as a new film idea forms in front of your very eyes!

1) Choose the First Letter of Your Mother's Maiden Name

A = An Adventurous
B = A Boisterous                              
C = A Cantankerous
D = A Danger-Loving
E = An Eccentric                                               
F = A Foolhardy
G = A Grieving                                  
H = A Humungous                           
I = An Idiosyncratic
J = A Jealous                                      
K = A Killer                                          
L = A Lackadaisical
M = A Macho                                    
N = A Nervous                                  
O = An Obscene
P = A Pragmatic                                
Q = A Quirky                                      
R = A Religious
S = A Sadistic                                     
T = A Tenacious                                
U = An Unappeasable
V = A Voluptuous                            
W = A Watchful                                
X = A Xanthic
Y = A Young                                       
Z = A Zesty

2) Choose the Last Letter of Your Father's First Name

A = Anaesthetist                             
B = Billionaire                                    
C = Caveman
D = Dietician                                      
E = Economist                                   
F = Fighter
G = Gardener                                   
H = Hawk                                            
I = Inspector
J = Janitor                                           
K = Kleptomaniac                            
L = Lawyer
M = Mother                                      
N = Nurse                                           
O = Ostrich
P = Postal Worker                           
Q = Queen                                         
R = Radiologist
S = Swimmer                                     
T = Teacher                                        
U = Underling
V = Violinist                                       
W = Watch-Maker                          
X = X-Ray Inspector
Y = Yak                                                 
Z = Zookeeper

3) Choose the Third Letter of Your Own Name

A = Attacks                                        
B =  Buries                                          
C =  Chases
D = Discovers                                    
E = Eats                                                
F = Faces
G = Guards                                        
H = Hijacks                                         
I = Interrupts
J = Joins                                                               
K = Kills                                                
L = Launches
M = Marries                                      
N = Needs                                          
O = Offends
P = Punishes                                     
Q = Questions                                  
R = Rebuilds
S = Spoils                                            
T = Transports                                  
U = Underestimates
V = Violates                                       
W = Wrecks                                       
X = X-Rays
Y = Yearns For                                   
Z = Zigzags

4) Choose the First Letter of Your Hometown's Name

A = An Amulet                                  
B = A Boar                                          
C = A Coke Can
D = A Demon                                    
E = An Elephant                                               
F = A Family
G = A Goat                                         
H = A Housemate                            
I = An Iguana
J = A Jury                                            
K = A King                                           
L = A Lamborghini
M = A Martyr                                    
N = A Nightmare                             
O = An Optician
P = A Policewoman                        
Q = A Quizmaster                            
R = A Rhinoceros
S = A Sailboat                                    
T = A Tarantula                                 
U = An Untold Evil
V = A Valet Driver                           
W = A Wolf                                        
X = A Xerox Machine
Y = A Yogurt                                    
Z = A Zeppelin

5) Choose the Third Letter of Your Favourite Food

A = In An Ambulance                     
B = In A Beach Hut                          
C = In A Caravan
D = In A Dungeon                            
E = In Ecuador                                   
F = In A Funeral Parlour
G = In A Garage                                               
H = In A Hospital                              
I = In An Igloo
J = In Jamaica                                    
K = In A Kid's Play Area                 
L = In A Lion's Den
M = In A Museum                           
N = In A Nordic Castle                   
O = In Ohio
P = In Purgatory                                               
Q = In Quebec                                  
R = In A Rut
S = In Space                                       
T = In A Tent                                      
U = In An Underworld
V = In A Vending Machine           
W = In A Whale's Belly                  
X = In A Xylophone Factory
Y = In Yemen                                     
Z = In A Zoo

6) Choose the Last Letter of Your Favourite TV Show

A = But Angers                                 
B = But Becomes                             
C = But Creates
D = But Destroys                             
E = But Entices                                  
F = But Finds
G = But Galvanises                         
H = But Harnesses                          
I = But Inspires
J = But Jeopardises                         
K = But Knocks Out                         
L = But Loves
M = But Misses                                
N = But Neglects                             
O = But Offends
P = But Paralyses                             
Q = But Quarrels With                   
R = But Reanimates
S = But Scares                                   
T = But Tackles                                 
U = But Underestimates
V = But Victimises                           
W = But Worries                              
X = But X-Rays
Y = But Yearns For                           
Z = But Zeroes In On

7) Choose the First Letter of Your Favourite Place on Earth

A = An Aging                                     
B = A Big                                              
C = A Careless
D = A Devious                                   
E = An Ethereal                                
F = A Fearless
G = A Gentle                                     
H = A Hardworking                         
I = An Idiotic
J = A Judgmental                          
K = A Kindly                                       
L = A Lovable
M = A Majestic                                 
N = A Neurotic                                 
O = An Obnoxious
P = A Prissy                                        
Q = A Quirky                                      
R = A Raging
S = A Sentimental                           
T = A Tantalising                               
U = An Undeserving
V = A Violent                                     
W = A Well Known                          
X = A Xyloid
Y = A Yankee                                     
Z = A Zany

8) Choose the Last Letter of Your Favourite Musician / Band

A = Antelope                                    
B = Bouncer                                       
C = Cat
D = Dentist                                         
E = Egg Farmer                                 
F = Fashionista
G = Governor                                   
H = Helicopter Pilot                        
I = IT Guy
J = Jockey                                           
K = Kangaroo                                    
L = Lamb
M = Model                                         
N = Norse God                                 
O = Owl
P = Pet Detective                            
Q = Queen                                         
R = Referee
S = Scientist                                       
T = Taxidermist                                
U = Urchin
V = Vampire                                      
W = Watermelon                            
X = X Chromosome
Y = Yodeller                                       
Z = Zombie

You're welcome.

James Cottle, after studying Scriptwriting for 4 years, is now an embittered real life freelance writer, and seeks to unlearn everything he knows. But he needs your help... Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc and share this blog to help spread his anarchic plight for reform amongst the writing masses.