Sunday 14 December 2014

The 12 Days of Script-Mas!

It’s that magical time of year already, and what better way to show a beloved writer your true feelings than these 12 gifts to reflect the highs and lows of the scriptwriting process. Merry Script-mas!

On the first day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


A Compelling Leading Lady

On the second day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the third day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the fourth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the fifth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the sixth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the seventh day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Seven Readers Skimming
Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the eighth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Eight Days of Drinking
Seven Readers Skimming
Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the ninth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Nine Sources of Financing
Eight Days of Drinking
Seven Readers Skimming
Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the tenth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Ten Days of Shooting
Nine Sources of Financing
Eight Days of Drinking
Seven Readers Skimming
Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the eleventh day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Eleven Reviewers Griping
Ten Days of Shooting
Nine Sources of Financing
Eight Days of Drinking
Seven Readers Skimming
Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

On the twelfth day of Script-mas, my true love gave to me –


Twelve Days Rewriting
Eleven Reviewers Griping
Ten Days of Shooting
Nine Sources of Financing
Eight Days of Drinking
Seven Readers Skimming
Six Producers Paying
Five Exploding Things
Four Letter Words
Three Flawed Men(s)
Two Sceptic Loves
And a Compelling Leading Lady

And repeat...


James Cottle, after studying Scriptwriting for 4 years, is now an embittered real life freelance writer, and seeks to unlearn everything he knows. But he needs your help... Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc and share this blog to help spread his anarchic plight for reform amongst the writing masses.

Wednesday 10 December 2014

5 Terrible Reasons to Become a Scriptwriter

So I’ve recently been browsing various articles on this topic, not because I’m questioning my life choices – more to imbue myself with a sense of smug, sadistic satisfaction at those who get into this business for the wrong reasons and fail... Now that I read that back, I realise it sounds incredibly petty. But most writers take every small confidence boost they can get, even if it means wallowing in a little Schadenfreude. Regardless, I thought I would offer my take on the matter...

1) You’re Already Doing Something Else In The Industry


Arguably, if you’re a director / producer / editor / actor looking to get something made for a showreel or festival submission or your neighbour’s dog, then it kind of makes sense for you to try writing it too, so that you may cater its content entirely to your vision... This is a mistake. There’s a weird phenomenon amongst aspiring media professionals that no matter what discipline you specialise in, you’ll have an unwavering belief in your ability to write. Granted, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a few talented people for which I would say the presumption is justified, but the end result for a majority can come across as sloppy.

By all means, have a crack at it, but the end product will be significantly stronger if you can consult someone with at least a modicum of expertise in the field of writing. A script needs to be strong enough that it can inspire input from all creative fields without altering the specific creative vision. If you’re an editor trying to write, the structure might be incredible, but the characters may not be well rounded. If you’re a cinematographer, you can come up with incredible visuals, but the plot might be a wasteful mess. If you’re an actor, you’re just going to give yourself the best material subconsciously. Scriptwriters have been trained to balance everything – you should trust them to get the best out of your field too.

2) You Have A Really Great Idea


Broadening the net here, no matter what career or line of work you’re in, there may be times in your life where you come up with a film or TV show idea. You hold onto it, thinking “one day I’ll write it and it’ll be a game changing masterpiece”, because it’s in your head so how could it be terrible?! The sad truth is that people’s first attempts at scriptwriting are often colossal failures. It’s a process you learn over time by writing lots and lots of different things. Sure, your single idea might be great, but the chances of you nailing it first time are less likely than Kim Kardashian doing something of value within society.

This is a truth that scriptwriters face with anything they work on – in their heads, the idea is fully formed and ground-breaking, but putting it into words on paper is an entirely different ball park. Hold on to that idea even longer if you’re serious about making it a reality. Write loads of rubbish first, teaching yourself the rules as you go. Then practice bending the rules. Then apply them to your story... I’ll bet by this stage, you’ve realised that your world shattering idea is actually pretty generic or boring, and now you’re either forced to continue evolving your skills or give up and realise you were never meant to write in the first place.

3) You Saw A Movie / TV Show And Thought You Could Do Better


I finally watched Interstellar yesterday, over a month after its initial cinematic release. Whilst I’d caught a few glimpses of official reviews, my main preconceptions of the movie were sadly influenced by friends who’d seen it and posted on Facebook that they weren’t too impressed. Needless to say, I was a tad apprehensive before watching it... WHY?! I’ve liked all of Nolan’s previous films, admiring his ambition to explore complex ideas, relating them to the human condition. Interstellar was arguably all of this and more – sure, you could rail on the exposition, or plot holes or conveniences, but why would you when the story offers up such incredible visuals and unique storytelling?

The point is: audiences are spoilt. If there’s any element of a movie or TV show that they’re not a fan of, they write off the whole thing, often claiming they know what the writer / director should have done. WHYYYY?! Who are you?! The “YouTube Comment Section” Generation is awash with amateur vitriolic critics, because sites like that enable people to believe they are ground-breaking content creators. The more people hype something up, the greater someone else can tear it down. Becoming a scriptwriter isn’t about improving stuff that is apparently already “broken”, it’s about coming up with new stories that you alone can tell.

4) You Have A Specific Agenda


There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an “identity” in this business – in fact, it’s preferred. Having your own creative voice is ultimately how and why your career exists. Coming into the field with a goal or agenda, however, whether it be political, sociological or religious, is a far riskier game to play. By all means, hold on to your beliefs; they’re what make you “you”. Equally, there’s nothing wrong with tackling stories that challenge or complement society’s ideals either. But if those beliefs you hold are present throughout all of your writing, it then becomes an agenda, which worries people.

Scriptwriting can be immensely enabling towards the act of “preaching”, whether it’s consciously or subconsciously. Say all your protagonists are vegetarian and your antagonist is a carnivore... That sends a preachy message. Now say some of your protagonists are vegetarian, but there are also supporting protagonists who eat and enjoy meat also – there’s less present agenda, making for a more balanced story. If, before you’ve even started scriptwriting, you’ve decided you want to make people aware of why an issue is wrong, stop right there. If, however, you simply want to explore the issue, presenting both sides and leaving the audience to make the decision, then you’re far more likely to succeed in the world of writing.

5) The Money


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


James Cottle, after studying Scriptwriting for 4 years, is now an embittered real life freelance writer, and seeks to unlearn everything he knows. But he needs your help... Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc and share this blog to help spread his anarchic plight for reform amongst the writing masses.

Saturday 6 December 2014

5 Amazing Plot Twists That Would Totally Change Famous Movies

Listen, I’m not claiming to be a better writer than those who have penned these cinematic classics over the last few decades, but, as we all know, Hollywood sometimes has been known to play it a bit safe. So, thanks to the limitless critical potential of “hindsight”, we can now look at such movies and wonder how they could have been improved with reckless abandon and a complete disregard towards narrative consistency.

1) Toy Story – Buzz Is Actually A Space Ranger



Consider, if you will, the implication that Buzz Lightyear isn’t actually a toy, but instead part of a race of intergalactic, miniature, slightly-plastic looking, space rangers. Buzz crash lands on Earth inside of a toy factory after a mission gone wrong, and is picked up by a disgruntled floor worker who immediately goes to his boss with the idea of mass production. The real Buzz gets packaged up with the others, and bought by Andy’s mom. None of this is revealed at first, mind, providing an end of Act 2 twist that will leave young audiences with mouths agape and, more than likely, the seeds planted for an existential crisis later on in life.

After the crash, Buzz’s systems malfunctioned, and were mostly replaced by their plastic counterparts in the factory. However, when the iconic moment comes for Buzz to fly out of Sid’s window, aided only by his self belief and the vocal stylings of Randy Newman, he flies rather than falls. Buzz has his big Man of Steel moment, finding the power within himself that he always knew was there. By this stage though, Buzz’s mission to return home seems like a far off possibility, compared to where he has found his new home – alongside Andy. Yes, Buzz decides to forsake his duties as a protector of galactic peace, all so he can make a young Earth boy happy. Now there’s a tearjerker!

2) Star Wars – Old Ben Kenobi Is Actually The Emperor



Woah, hold up there! Whenever people mention “Star Wars” and “twist” in the same sentence, 99% of people will think of that iconic Jeremy Kyle moment in Empire Strikes Back. But let’s go one better... Forget for a moment that the Star Wars prequels ever exis- Oh right, you already have. Good. Having Old Ben mentoring a young Luke Skywalker into fulfilling his destiny and becoming a Jedi becomes a far more sinister thought if you imagine he's preparing Luke to join the Dark Side. Maybe Ben doesn’t even mention that there is a Dark Side, encouraging Luke to let his powers manifest naturally.

So Ben, formerly Obi Wan, trained the artist formerly known as Anakin Skywalker – Ben states that to Luke implicitly. With that in mind, he’s not lying to Luke at all – he’s just omitting the fact that he’s the Emperor and Anakin is Vader. So, throughout Luke’s mission to rescue Princess Leia, Ben is subtly poisoning Luke against his father, culminating in staging his own (fake) death at the hands of the breathing-impaired Vader to inspire hatred and the desire for revenge. All this comes out in Return Of The Jedi, where Luke learns that all those who are learned in the ways of the Force inevitably turn evil (except for Yoda, because he’s awesome), and he must carve his path to righteousness alone. Deep...

3) The Lord Of The Rings – Boromir Kills Frodo



What better way to illustrate the power of the One Ring over the hearts of good men than to have Boromir accidentally (but also kinda on purpose) kill Frodo when he tries to take the ring in Amon Hen? Talk about putting the quest to Mount Doom into freefall! Let’s look at how this scenario would then play out... Boromir would instantly regret his actions, driven mad by what the ring has done to him. Aragorn would come across Boromir and Frodo’s body, uncertain whether or not to strike Boromir down. Then the Shelob droppings would really hit the fan as Saruman’s Uruk-Hai would turn up, forcing the Fellowship into a desperate fight as Boromir tries to run.

The Fellowship are slowly overwhelmed, with Aragorn unable to pursue the man who struck Frodo down. Boromir comes across the other Halflings – Merry, Pippin and Sam. Upon seeing their faces, the gravity of what he has done truly sinks in, collapsing to his knees. He throws the Ring to the ground in front of him in despair, which is then picked up by Sam. Seeing one last chance for redemption, Boromir charges into the Uruk-Hai horde before Lurtz shoots him down, as per usual (he is Sean Bean after all). Merry and Pippin are captured, but Sam gets away, taking on the rest of his journey alone until he forms an uneasy partnership with Gollum... Why does he continue? For Frodo.

4) Back To The Future – Marty Becomes An Exile In Time



Time travel has plot holes – let’s start getting over that, and just enjoy the ride. Whilst Back To The Future is no exception to this rule, it is a beloved cinematic classic, that in turn set up two sequels that actually weren’t awful. However, if those behind the original had chosen not to set up the events of Part 2 at the climax of the movie, they could have turned an infamous plot hole into the crux of the rest of the trilogy. Here’s what I’m talking about... Marty gets his parents back together in 1955, and creates a better 1985 for him to come back to. However, upon returning, logic would dictate that there would be another Marty McFly in his place, having been raised by George and Lorraine 2.0.

So, the big question is what does Marty do now that there’s someone else living his life? As Doc Brown points out in the second film, meeting another version of yourself can potentially have devastating repercussions on the time space continuum. Marty would inevitably feel cheated, and lash out at the Doc – a dynamic not really explored in the trilogy as it stands. He’d want to get Jennifer back as his girlfriend, but seeing her in the arms of another Marty would create a really interesting love triangle, where she would believe she was dating one man, but in reality would be dating two versions of the same man who would never be able to meet. It’s more of a mirror image of the first film in that sense, and could potentially give Doc and Marty a greater reason to explore different time periods.

5) Harry Potter – Voldemort Never Existed



Watching the first few movies (or reading the first few books if you’re that way inclined) of Harry Potter again, it almost becomes a running joke of how many typically evil characters swear allegiance to Voldemort, despite the fact he’s not technically alive at that point. But what if he was never alive? It almost makes more sense that a being so inherently evil and powerful would be a work of fiction, and that his followers are just devout followers of a long running religion / cult / organisation. Those working in “his” name would carry out vague orders found within the diary of Tom Riddle – a slimy kid whose existence has been misinterpreted as the second coming of some long dead evil.

But wait, I hear you call! What about what happened to Harry as a baby? Well, there’s no definitive proof that it was “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” (another indication that he’s a fabrication), and not just one of his many followers. It’d certainly lend a bit more credence to the idea of Harry being some sort of “Chosen One” if he was able to resist the evil curse of some lowly assassin, rather than the most powerful, malevolent being in the known Universe. It’d certainly make Harry less special as a character, but maybe that’s ultimately what he needs to endear him to us a little more – crumbling under the weight of false expectation. As the series would progress, those trying to resurrect Voldemort would instead discover the truth about him, but would continue enacting “his” will out of faith alone, which, I’ll admit, is a far more biting allegory for belief in general, but hey, it’s just a dumb little story.


James Cottle, after studying Scriptwriting for 4 years, is now an embittered real life freelance writer, and seeks to unlearn everything he knows. But he needs your help... Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc and share this blog to help spread his anarchic plight for reform amongst the writing masses.

Wednesday 3 December 2014

Top 10 Scene Stealing Characters From Film and TV in 2014

Who knows if writers actually go out of their way to create a “scene stealing” character? I mean, surely we want audiences to be invested in all of our characters in some way, let alone the story itself? Nevertheless, there are sometimes movies and TV shows you walk away from thinking “wowsers, that one character was gosh darn incredible. I wish I could (*DELETE WHERE APPROPRIATE*) be them / be with them / know them / lick them”. In celebration of these breath-take-away-ers, here’s a completely objective list of my Top 10 Scene Stealers (adaptation characters are allowed, as long as their first on-screen appearance was in 2014, and they aren’t already the main character. Why? Because reasons). Spoilers have been avoided...

10) Mr. Meeseeks (Rick and Morty)



Do yourself a favour – watch Rick and Morty if you haven’t already. While the titular leads are both inventive and brilliantly crafted (yet still rough around the edges), it was the episode “Meeseeks and Destroy” (aired in January 2014) that introduced us to this... blue thing. Pressing a button on the Meeseeks box makes this thing pop into existence with the sole purpose of helping you with a task – it helps teenaged Summer become more popular and mother Beth feel like a more complete woman. However, a simple request to take two strokes of father Jerry’s golf game drives Mr. Meeseeks slowly insane, building an army of shrill voiced, blue creatures desperately questioning their purpose in life. It’s hilariously compelling.

9) Gareth (The Walking Dead)



With the Walkers becoming an increasing “inconvenience” rather than a palpable threat to the survivors on TWD, the show does a good job of showing how other people can be the real enemy.  No truer example exists than the introduction of Gareth this year (appearing in the finale of Season 4 and recurring in Season 5). After witnessing the rise and fall (and rise again) of the Governor, a good man slowly pushed to dictatorial insanity, it’s almost refreshing to see someone embrace the dark nature of their situation and still be so damn collected about it. In fact, considering the terrible things that Gareth and those at “Terminus” have been doing so casually, it’s a pretty unsettling look at what constitutes contentment in a zombie apocalypse.

8) Vee (Orange Is The New Black)



Things were by no means peachy in Litchfield Penitentiary throughout Season 1 of OITNB, but they almost look like a cakewalk compared to Vee’s power-play in Season 2. As the focus increasingly shifts off Piper and onto the other inmates, Vee presents a new maternal figure in the prison, with a cagey history with the old top momma, Red. On the surface, Vee cares for Taystee and gives others like Crazy Eyes the respect they’ve been missing for so long, but it’s not long before Vee’s ruthless streak starts destroying long term friendships and the infrastructure of the inmates have come to rely on. Coupled with a backstory that’s increasingly intriguing as the season unfolds, Vee is unpredictable, manipulative and terrific fun to watch.

7) Batman (The Lego Movie)



Batman as a supporting character?! Get used to it. The Lego Movie is a joyously executed, infinitely loveable and hilariously quotable family movie that cheekily pokes fun at many blockbuster staples we’ve come to know over the last few decades. The brilliance of Batman’s portrayal in the film (voiced by the amazing Will Arnett) is that he’s a constant reminder of just how silly we know the concept of Batman to be, yet still cool and an integral part of the story. No punches are pulled, as Bat-puns are flung left and right, his propensity for constant brooding is put into song and his ability to do badass things off camera and then appear out of nowhere are repeatedly lampshaded. The best part? He’s getting a spin-off in 2017...

6) Lorne Malvo (Fargo)



“There are no saints in the animal kingdom. Only breakfast and dinner”. As a hitman with pretty much no moral values, Malvo is one unpredictable cookie. Some may argue he was the main character of Fargo’s first anthology season, but I’d maintain that Deputy Solverson or Lester Nygaard hold that particular title. Lorne Malvo is simply a force of nature, moving from place to place and leaving chaos in his wake. He’ll kill just to prove a point, assume false identities for months on end and perpetually remain one step ahead of everybody who tracks him. At the same time, Malvo manages to be bizarrely endearing, often pointing out the silly inconsistencies of life and posing intriguing animal kingdom analogies.

5) Captain Holt (Brooklyn Nine Nine)



Captain Holt deserves some sort of medal (well, another medal) for being the most stoic, straight-faced police chief in television history. In a show full of heightened characters and lovable misfits, Holt is the glue that holds them all together, and somehow manages to be just as funny, if not more, than everyone else. It’s deadpan humour played to such a unbeatably straight degree that it becomes more ridiculous than the “ridiculous” characters. Just as importantly though, Holt is a character who we genuinely care about. He’s struggled with being an openly gay policeman for years (making his “straight man” role all more unique) and often acts as the caring mentor to those in his department, even if his face doesn’t show it.

4) Groot (Guardians Of The Galaxy)



I think we can all agree that Guardians Of The Galaxy was pretty terrific. Even if the story was nothing to rave about, it did a great job of crafting endearing, original characters based on the peculiar source material. So how do you make a giant, tree-alien who only utters 3 (ish) words throughout the entire movie likeable? By giving him innocence. Despite being involved with less than favourable outlaws, particularly partner in crime Rocket Racoon, Groot approaches situations with a unique child-like curiosity and, more importantly, a smile on his face. He reminds the jaded characters around him that the galaxy they’re fighting for can be a thing of beauty. His actions definitely speak louder than words... Except for when he’s kicking ass. That gets pretty loud.

3) Rosalyn Rosenfeld (American Hustle)



In a film about con artists and betrayal, it’s refreshing to see the typical “wife” character portrayed a scenery-chewing, pathologically unstable mess. In fact, while Christian Bale’s Irving Rosenfeld takes on increasingly ambitious cons, the thing he’s ultimately afraid of is the woman he’s married to keeping his adopted son from him. She’s not a victim by any stretch – she’s in control, despite being almost useless around the house. Let’s not forget the crowd-pleasing material that the perpetually hilarious Jennifer Lawrence makes her own, with microwave fires, biting monologues and a rendition of “Live and Let Die” being among the film’s highlights. She has the least screen time of any of the lead characters, but ultimately leaves the biggest impression – the mark of a true scene stealer.

2) Quicksilver (X-Men: Days Of Future Past)



To all those who wrote off Quicksilver when his “outfit” was revealed – Oh, ye of little faith. X-Men movies always have the difficult job of balancing a large cast, and this particular instalment had almost double due to a blending of the two timelines. So it’s particularly remarkable when one new character not only stands out from a performance point of view, but also for being a part of what many would say is the most visually stunning / hilarious sequences in cinema this year. As an old colleague of Wolverine’s (now that’s an origin story I want to see), Peter Maximoff is a kleptomaniac speedster with an unquenchable thirst for mischief. Sadly, the film literally had to leave him behind because he was simply too awesome, and, y’know, they had a story to get on with telling.

1) Oberyn Martell (Game of Thrones)



There’s a number of characters who you could call a “badass” in Westeros – Bronn, the Hound, Arya, Tyrion, Hodor... But now the word “badass” has been redefined. This guy, this Prince, just waltzes into King’s Landing to represent his brother, Prince Doran, at the royal wedding, and, less than secretly, seek revenge on the Mountain for the terrible things he did to the Martell family. Everything he does from that point on is just impossibly cool. Refusing to stand for Tywin on the small council, his insatiable, yet pragmatic, sexual appetite, his quiet rage while “The Rains of Castamere” are sung in his presence, even just the way he moves through a room, all culminating in standing for Tyrion in a trial by combat against the Mountain. A boy what a fight it is...

Agree with my picks? Feel like someone has been missed out? I don’t have time to watch everything ever, so that’s very likely... Let me know in the comments below, and before long we will have an encyclopaedic account of hundreds of 2014 Scene Stealers.

James Cottle, after studying Scriptwriting for 4 years, is now an embittered real life freelance writer, and seeks to unlearn everything he knows. But he needs your help... Follow him on Twitter @Jxmxsc and share this blog to help spread his anarchic plight for reform amongst the writing masses.